Move Over, Superwoman

To those of you without children, and to those of you with a newborn. The day is coming that parenting will become second nature. Well, cancel that, it will pretty much become first nature.

The memories of leaving a house with a infant still frighten me. The toys, the nursing pads, the burp cloths, the change of clothes, the paci, the blankets, the nursing cover, the bibs, the spoons, the baby food, the high chair cover, the holycowhowdidIevermakeitpastthisstagewithoutgoing insane.

There will come a day (remember I only have one…) that you will switch over to a big girl purse and find that even without that artillery of a diaper bag you are just as prepared for anything a small human can throw at you.

Moms catch balls thrown at their heads without missing a beat in their conversation. I have seen moms clean muddy shorts with nothing more than a sippy cup and a baby wipe. I can carry on a conversation in the car with Ayden about one thing, one with someone else in the car, and one with myself at the same time.

Someday the cries of a baby will no longer pull you from your warm bed at night and you will be able to fall asleep without thinking every noise in the house may be the squeak of a baby trying to wake up. However there will still be cries, cries of sick little kids with fevers or scared little kids with nightmares.

But this time it will be your heart that wakes you up, not your ears.

It will be your heart that will pull you into the other room because the little body lying in that little bed is a piece of your heart walking around on the outside of your body. There will be no more referencing of parenting books at one a.m. There will be no googling of Croup symptoms at two a.m.

You will just know.

And you will fix it. Whether it’s a warm compress on lanky legs suffering from growing pains, a steamy bathroom visit for breathing, or a cold washcloth across a sweaty fevered forehead. You will be able to fix it. Because you are the mom and moms are superheroes. Even if you never realized it before.

Thinking about this has inspired me to write about the superpowers granted to a woman when she gives birth.

Supersonic Hearing
We can hear our children in another room. Oh yeah, I heard what you muttered under your breath. I may have said, “Excuse me?” but I really heard you.

Mom Spit
Mom spit can clean the rust off a bumper. There is no mess too powerful for mom spit. I know it’s embarrassing to have any mom wipe your face off in public, but she’ll get it way cleaner than you ever could.

Eyes in the Back of Your Head
Yes, I can see what you’re doing without even looking at you. Don’t roll your eyes in exasperation of doing something, etc. I am all seeing.

Mess Detection
I can sense a mess a mile away. It’s like Spiderman’s spideysense…only momified.

Deadly Glare
I can make you stop dead in your tracks just by looking at you. I don’t need to yell or reprimand you. You may not even know what you did wrong, but you know you’re in trouble just from the look.

Precognition
Ever wonder how your mom knew you were thinking about grabbing a cookie or doing some other awful thing? She can see the future. That’s why she can say, “Don’t touch the cookies” before you’ve even formed the thought in your mind.

These are just a few of all moms' superpowers, but Ayden also says that one of my more prevalent powers (along with a few others) is the ability to be a “great finder”. Even though toys may be scattered everywhere; I have to know where a specific Batman or Spiderman is hiding. But on the other hand, he was slightly disappointed earlier in the week at my inability to reach something. He was very quick to tell me that he thought I should grow a very elastic arm like Mr. Fantastic. Go figure…..I guess we can’t win them all!