Rules

I have a love/hate relationship with rules.

On one hand, I love rules. I need them. I'm a total Type A, firstborn, people pleaser, rule follower, lover of order.

But, on the other hand, I hate rules. Well, better said, rules that make no sense to me drive me batty.

Sometimes, I can guess as to the intended purpose of a rule. It makes me feel better to understand the reason behind a rule. I like logic and order. Things that make sense to my brain are as pleasing to me as a baker's dozen yeast rolls. Other times, I have no idea why a rule exists. But, even then, I can often guess as to why that certain rule is in place. But those times leave me completely stymied? Rules that seem to be in place just for rules' sake drive me bonkers when I think about them.

Which is why I usually avoid thinking about them. Because I have better things to do. For instance raise a child, help with teeball, and work many, many, many hours of the day. You know, that kind of stuff.

But every now and then, just for kicks and giggles. I enjoy contemplating seemingly pointless rules. Or, at the very least, inconsistent rules. Like why on earth are certain states making it a law that you can't talk on your cell phone while driving...all the while eating, reading, and applying makeup are still perfectly legit? Many states (ours included) have outlawed texting while driving. Which, by the way, seems pretty smart to me! The rub? Over twenty of those states also offer traffic services that drivers can access with none other than their cell phones.

SIGH

I really shouldn't care, but I love a good debate. (Not that I am an expert on airplanes or anything...but you hear the following on movies and whatnot quite frequently.) I have yet to understand the put your seat back into it's upright position during takeoff and landing. I would honestly love for someone to explain to me how that inch, literally, is going to make any kind of a difference. I mean, there has got to be a logical reason, doesn't there? I just want to know what it is, because I've been driving myself crazy trying to think of what safety difference the position of the seat, which hardly reclines at all, could make!

And the tray tables on airplanes...how they must be stowed. I can just hear it now. "I had a rough day. Our plane fell from the sky and crashed, and in addition to my numerous life threatening injuries, I bruised my forehead on my tray table because I didn't stow it!" OK, that rule probably makes sense. Maybe a tray table could decapitate you in a crash? Just a guess.

I love offices that ask you to power your cell phone off upon entering the waiting room. Why? Isn't having it turned to silent, good enough?

I think quite possibly the thing that drives me the most batty about pointless rules is the fact that, even though I can't for the life of me understand where some rules are coming from, I still always follow them!!! Proof that I am a hopeless rule follower through and through comes during a phone call I place quite regularly. I called the Automated prescription refill lady, you know her, right?

Automated Refill Lady: "thank-you for calling Walgreens pharmacy. Please listen closely as our menu options have recently changed. If you are needing a refill please press or say one."

Me: "One"

Automated Refill Lady: "To speak to a member of our pharmacy staff please press or say one. To use our touch tone pharmacy refill system please press or say eight."

Me: "Eight"

Automated Refill Lady: "Please enter your prescription number followed by the five numbers after the dash"

Me: entering the million digit number

Automated Refill Lady: after much more number pressing....To end this call please press or say nine

I kid you not, people. Automated refill lady always asks me to press or say a number to end my call. I seriously, think..."What on earth?! To end a call, can't I just hang up?!?!" This baffles me. Befuddles me. Driven batty by the ridiculous notion that I get asked to push a button or use a voice prompt to end a call. Of course, I don't need to do that. I could just hang up. Right? I really could just hang up...I know that.

Which is why it proved to me that I am addicted to following rules, even nonsensical ones, when I follow up Automated refill lady with......

Me: "NINE" Click

SIGH