Did I really just say that?

There are some Momisms that we as Mothers pass on to our children knowing fully well that we were told them as children and never really questioned their validity.

• Things like:
  --don’t play with sticks you’ll poke your eyes out
  --don’t do that with your eyes or face it’ll freeze like that
  --if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you jump too?
  --close that refrigerator door your letting all the cold air out.
  --because I’m the Mommy, and I said so
  --close the door, you weren’t raised in a barn
  --don’t eat that, you’ll get worms

Debunking time!! As a Mom I have found that sticks and kids have a certain gravitational lure to each other that is unbreakable. You could be at a formal dinner with crystal and all, in the most discerning location and rest assured that any child can probably find some sorta pointy object, or maybe that stick will just find them!! It’s kind of like childhood kismet, ying and yang if you prefer, so I guess it is best to just get used to it. To avoid pricey mishaps, keep your eyes peeled, ears well tuned, and rely heavily on that gender gifted ingrained intuition that all of us have in our Mommy force-fields. One small rule of thumb applies here – if you can sense trouble on the hairs on the back of your neck, there usually is something to worry about.

I have yet to come across any instances where anyone’s eyes have gotten stuck cross-eyed after making a face. If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you jump too? This one kind strikes my nonsense toleration vein. In the same way, how many of us have bridges or cliffs handy? I am fully aware that I am being purposely trite but if you know your child do you really have to brandish this Momism? Hmm, methinks thou dost protest too much!!

After diligent research I have found that it is actually possible to let the cold air out of the fridge, who knew? I thought that it was something that the Academy of Moms, devised in order to keep sticky little people from standing in front of a fridge door on a hot summer’s day. Apparently cold air circulates in the fridge and the warm air that gets in has to be cooled down causing the machine to work doubly hard. All in all letting the cold air out is not the worry, but rather letting the hot air in is the more bothersome of the two prospects. (And you thought you wouldn’t learn anything!!)

Who ever needed any other excuse for why they couldn't do something....other than -- because I said so that's why? Mommies know everything, isn't that obvious (ha, ha). I found myself just the other day stating....hey, why did you leave that front door wide open; were you raised in a barn? Now really, what has that got to do with anything. Barn doors close, right? Or yet, the poor little girl that was laying in the office hallway the other day eating her hair had to hear one of my lame Momisms. If you chew your hair you will get worms!! (That one is especially for Aunt Jana) Poor child, is now probably scared to death of worms swimming in her belly.

Whether or not you are going to burden your children with these nonsensical verbal glyphs is up to you, but for me the fun lies in participating in the tradition all the while remembering, my mom used to say that!!

Here are some more just for fun!

Top Ten Sayings Of Biblical Mothers -

• --Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don't know where it's been! (Judges 14:5-8)


• --David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons!


• --Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!


• --Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! I told you never to play with fire!
  
• --Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!


• --Noah! No, you can't keep them! I told you, don't bring home any more strays!


• --Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at your clothes! (Judges 6:11)


• --James and John! No more burping contests at the dinner table, please. People are going to call you the sons of thunder! (Mark 3:17)


• --Judas! Have you been in my purse again?!
  
• --Jesus! Stop working on that old wood and come in and eat! You'd spend you life on that wood, if your father asked ya to!
  
  
  

Top Ten Sayings of Modern Mothers - MOMISM NOW:

• --Money does not grow on trees.


• --When you have your own house then you can make the rules!


• --Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident.


• --You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
  
• --If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.


• --Don't put that in your mouth; you don't know where it's been!